My Collection
by ILuvCarbyFuzz
Summary: a series of songfics by me. Please read! i need to know if i should continue! Not always carby.
1. How Far

How Far

A/N: This is going to be where all of my songfic stories will be posted. Each different chapter will be a whole different storyline. Also, each chapter will be a different song. Not every one of them will be carby. This song is "How Far," by Martina McBride. This is my version of what should have happened the night Carter left the 2nd time.

ABBY'S POV

"John…I can't keep doing this!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I couldn't breathe. He was leaving me again. The first time he left I broke down piece by piece. But seeing as how much I loved him, I forgave him, and we went through life. Then, just like that, I realized he was leaving again.

_There's a boat, I could sail away_

_  
There's the sky, I could catch a plane_

_  
There's a train, there's the tracks_

_  
I could leave and I could choose to not come back_

_  
Oh never come back  
  
_

He looked back at me. Who knew he would have the guts to? Well, I guess he would. He had the guts to snap my heart in half. Hadn't he already done enough damage? Hasn't he realized he hurt me before? Our relationship was my main concern. I wasn't going to let him go that easily.

"John!"

He stared at me. I could see the tears forming in his eyes. Just seeing him like this made me want to cry. I held my breath, wondering when he would speak.

_There you are, giving up the fight_

_Here I am begging you to try_

_  
Talk to me, let me in_

_But you just put your wall back up again_

_Oh when's it gonna end_

            CARTER'S POV

I looked into her eyes. I mean _really_ looked into her eyes. They shone with tears. I could see them through the snow flakes falling softly from the sky. I couldn't speak. I probably looked like an idiot because I wasn't speaking, but then again, in her eyes, I probably already was one.

"Abby…"

She shook her head.

"Don't go…don't leave me…please!" She was crying hard. Walking forward, barely stepping, biting her lip. I just stood there. Before I knew it, she was standing in front of me.

_How far do I have to go to make you understand_

_  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't_

_Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are_

_  
So I'm gonna walk away_

_  
And it's up to you to say how far  
_

"Abby, I…" my voice was cracking. She held my face in her hand. She cradled it, and brought it down to hers. A soft and gentle kiss can still send shivers down your body, especially ours. I pulled away. Her eyes begged me to stay. I knew she wanted me to. Slowly, Abby wrapped her arms around my waist, and dug her face into my chest. I complied and held her close. We just stood like this, never wanting to let go, but I knew that I had to go, it was my duty. Luka's fate rested in my hands. I begged Abby to let go. Without words, she still understood.

She pulled away and hugged herself. Still crying, she let out a final goodbye. Walking backwards, she stared into my eyes for the final time.

"Abby! I swear I'll come back to you! And when I do, when the day comes, I promise that we'll be happy. I swear on Gamma's grave that I will never leave again. But this is something that I have to do. I owe it to Luka."

She nodded, and I turned around, sealing our fate.

_There's a chance I could change my mind_

_  
But I won't, not till you decide_

_  
What you want, what you need_

_  
Do you even care if I stay or leave_

_  
Oh, what's it gonna be  
_

I walked forwards. One step, two steps, three steps. I don't turn back. I can't. I can't look at the face that I left behind. The face of beauty, innocence, and hurt.

_How far do I have to go to make you understand_

_  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't_

_Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are_

_  
So I'm gonna walk away_

_  
And it's up to you to say how far  
  
_

ABBY'S POV

I watch the only man I have ever loved leave. He didn't even look back. Was what he said true? Did he really want to be with me? I thought I only caused him trouble. He wouldn't have sworn on Gamma's grave if he didn't mean it. I just don't understand. As I recalled the bittersweet taste of his lips on mine, I finally understood. That kiss…he really didn't want to leave. Luka is out there somewhere, dying, and all I can think of is John. I am just selfish I guess.

Seeing him walk out of view is going to be one of the most painful memories of all time for me.

_Out of this chair, or just across the room_

_  
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon  
  
How far do I have to go to make you understand_

_  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't_

_  
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are_

_  
So I'm gonna walk away_

_  
And it's up to you to say_

_  
Yeah I'm gonna walk away_

_  
And it's up to you to say how far._


	2. The Trouble With Love Is

My Collection – Chapter 2: The Trouble With Love Is

A/N: This is the next chapter in My Collection. The Song is the name of the chapter, The Trouble With Love Is, sung by Kelly Clarkson. It is in Sam's POV, and takes place after the finale.

()()()

And that was that. I had just left. Alex was in the car, and we were driving away. Away to no where. I felt so bad for leaving Luka on those conditions. I really do love him…I think. Inside my heart longed for him, but I knew Steve had screwed it up. He always does.

_Love can be a many splendored thing_

_  
Can't deny the joy it brings_

_  
A dozen roses, diamond rings_

_  
Dreams for sale and fairy tales_

_  
It'll make you hear a symphony_

_  
And you just want the world to see_

_  
But like a drug that makes you blind,_

_  
It'll fool ya every time…_

FLASHBACK – SAM'S POV

Oh my God. How am I going to tell Steve? I love him! How will he take it? Does he love me? Will he accept it? Questions roamed throughout my head, as I walked up to Steve that cold December day. My stomach turned, and it wasn't because of the morning sickness…

"Sam! I was just looking for ya."

"Yeah…I was looking for you too…" but before I could finish he kissed me, steamy and passionate, just the way I liked it. And, the way I had ended up like this. I tried really hard to stop the tears from flowing, but I'm not such a strong person. I broke down, and, unfortunately, he was asking questions.

_  
  
The trouble with love is_

_  
It can tear you up inside_

_  
Make your heart believe a lie_

_  
It's stronger than your pride_

_  
The trouble with love is_

_  
It doesn't care how fast you fall_

_  
And you can't refuse the call_

_  
See, you got no say at all_

"Steve…I'm…I'm pregnant. You're a daddy."

And to this day, I have never forgotten the look on his face. Pure terror. I had never seen him that scared, or this angry either. Before I could react, he slapped my face, and my world spun out of control._  
  
_

_Now I was once a fool, it's true_

_  
I played the game by all the rules_

_  
But now my world's a deeper blue_

_  
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too_

_  
I swore I'd never love again_

_  
I swore my heart would never mend_

_  
Said love wasn't worth the pain_

_  
But then I hear it call my name  
  
(The trouble with) The trouble with love is_

_  
It can tear you up inside_

_  
Make your heart believe a lie_

_  
It's stronger than your pride_

_  
The trouble with love is_

_  
It doesn't care how fast you fall_

_  
And you can't refuse the call_

_  
See, you got no say at all  
  
_

PRESENT

Driving down that road with Alex in the backseat made me feel so terrible. I was leaving. Just like I had left Steve. I really did love him, truly, I did. I just don't know what I want now. Of course I knew back then. I had Alex. But was that really what I wanted? No. Not at the time, but I am glad he is here now. He is my only piece of life to hang on to. Luka surely won't take me back. Not after what I have done to him. Or just what Steve said. I need to express my love for him somehow. A letter? No. There are too many letters flying around the ER right now. But how?

_  
Every time I turn around_

_  
I think I've got it all figured out_

_  
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'_

_  
Over and over again_

_  
The sad story always ends the same_

_  
Me standin' in the pourin' rain_

_  
It seems no matter what I do_

_  
It tears my heart in two_

_  
  
(The trouble with love is) The trouble with love, yeah_

_  
(It can tear you up inside) It can tear you up inside_

_  
(Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie_

_  
It's stronger than your pride_

Now I realize what I have to do. After a moment of contemplating my future, I realized, that whether or not he loves me, or whether or not he even wants me back, I love him. I love Luka Kovac. I smiled to myself, and I looked into my rearview mirror. Alex had tears running down his face, and that's what finally told me: I can't run from Steve forever. He screwed my life up, but I can't blame him entirely for that. It was my fault too. But that doesn't matter now. I have to get to Luka. I just, had to. _  
  
(The trouble with love is) _

_  
It's in your heart_

_  
It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall)_

_  
You won't get no control_

_  
(and you can't refuse the call)_

_  
See, you got no say at all_

_  
  
(The trouble with love is) Oh, yeah_

_  
(It can tear you up inside)_

_  
(Make your heart believe a lie)_

            "Mom!" Alex screamed. "What are you doing?! You could have flipped the car!"

"Calm down, Alex. I am turning back. Do you not want to go home?" He smiled.

"I knew you would catch on."

After 20 minutes of speeding down the streets I finally reached County. I quickly got to the garage, parked the car, and Alex and I ran. We ran like we were running for our lives. When I got to the ER, I searched around. Luka wasn't here.

"Sam?" called a low voice behind me. I quickly turned around, and standing there was Luka. We smiled at each other for a moment, and I made my way into his arms. Craning my neck, I gave him the kiss of a lifetime. When he kissed me back, I realized what the trouble with love is. You only realize when your in love, when you almost lose it. If you almost lose the love you had, there is a chance that you might never get it back. But, that's not entirely true. Luka and I are now married with a baby girl, Jasmine, for the daughter he lost long ago. And I am pregnant with a baby boy again, and we will name him Mark, for his other son.

()()()

A/N: Okay, cheesy, I know! Sorry if it is difficult reading. And I also know his kids weren't named Jasmine and Mark, but I wanted them to have American names, for his kid's names. Jasna (I think it was) and Marko. Please REVIEW!!


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